I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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