im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
