Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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