I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
