i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I love you.
Bad choice
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
