I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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