this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
