I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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