Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
