i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize