Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Rumble strips road head = magical
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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