he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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