The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
