i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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