Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
