you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
