Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
