She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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