Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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