Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We need a shit load of segways right now
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
