lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
