I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
