We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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