Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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