bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
