belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think I have vodka in my lungs
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
