It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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