Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
