She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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