Cold hands, warm shart.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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