Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
not ubering you a puppy
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
