I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
