You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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