so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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