You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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