quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
