never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
