Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
