We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The beer is more important than you right now.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
