They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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