Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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