Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
