wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
