so that wasnt chicken after all
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
smell my finger.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize