I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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