Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize