i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
