do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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