I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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