please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
