Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize