she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
