Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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