You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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