the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
