Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
