yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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