a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
