you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
