So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
