I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just had sex on a roof
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
