Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
