If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
