I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
