Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
