Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
