it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize