mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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