dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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