He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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