Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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