Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
