Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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