One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
